HATTERAS YACHT PARTS
CABO YACHT PARTS
Sam's is your source for Hatteras and Cabo Yacht parts.
Morning funny
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- Start date
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davidwigler
Legendary Member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2007
- Messages
- 1,642
- Status
- OWNER - I own a Hatteras Yacht
- Hatteras Model
- 58' MOTOR YACHT-Series I (1977 - 1980)
A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.
•Canuckus Deplorabus, The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce .
The man persists and asks to see the manager. Canuck says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, Canuck said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to & find the man standing right behind him, so he added,
'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to Canuck, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.
We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada , sir,'Canuckt replied. 'Well, why did you leave Canada ?' the manager asked.
Canuck said, 'Sir, there's nothing but hockey players and hookers up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada.'
'No shit?' replied Canuck. 'Who'd she play for?
•Canuckus Deplorabus, The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce .
The man persists and asks to see the manager. Canuck says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, Canuck said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to & find the man standing right behind him, so he added,
'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to Canuck, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.
We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada , sir,'Canuckt replied. 'Well, why did you leave Canada ?' the manager asked.
Canuck said, 'Sir, there's nothing but hockey players and hookers up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada.'
'No shit?' replied Canuck. 'Who'd she play for?
Dazed338
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2017
- Messages
- 156
- Status
- OWNER - I own a Hatteras Yacht
- Hatteras Model
- 31' CRUISER (1967 - 1971)
tomrealest
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2005
- Messages
- 485
- Status
- OWNER - I own a Hatteras Yacht
- Hatteras Model
- 58' YACHT FISHERMAN (1970 - 1981)
My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
