Liveaboards, Landlubbers, and Little Ones

[Freebird]

Okay, this will not be another "Oprah" re-run, but I would like to pick the brains of more who have maybe been there, done that in regard to the topic posted.

I'm probably chasing my tail to think I can convince the misses to aid in my life's dream of living aboard and maybe abroad with her and my 3 year old son Ryan, but who knows. I personally can think of no better way to enjoy life as a family and the beauty of our planet than to live on a big Hatt in Grand Cayman or some other English speaking, God fearing, drug and crimefree island in the Caribbean.

Flordia may prove to be a more logical choice, but I would have to remove the qualifications set forth above.

So let's hear it folks. Financial aspects aside, am I really crazy to think I can pull this off with a family, or will I have to die unfulfilled in that respect or give up my family to chase something which should remain just a dream?

 

[Paul45c]

If you can find work, and you can find some kind of facilities really close by the marina where you'd keep the boat that will relieve "the crew's" cabin fever I think it's doable. Kids need space, and wifey will need to stretch those legs as much as she can for that cabin not to feel like a tomb while you're at work. It'd also be great if once in a while you guys do a hotel thing to get some pampering.

All in how you play it, BIRDbutt.

 

[MikeP]

...Grand Cayman or some other English speaking, God fearing, drug and crimefree island in the Caribbean

Good one Randy! I'd narrow it down a bit more and be sure the particular choice was also the home of the tooth fairy and free diesel!

All seriousness aside...Oops, sorry... I meant to say, seriously now..

Certainly it's feasable - lots of folks do it to varying degrees of success. THere are several couples living aboard in our marina in NY and have been for at least two years (marina contract prohibits live aboards - go figure). However, I have to admit they do not have kids.

Down here (mexixo) we have met some folks who live aboard thier boat which cruises but is based in Ixtapa and really like it. They occasionally stay at one of the many hotels in Ixtapa to break it up a bit. Again - no kids.

The issue I would see with kids would be schooling and the normal interplay between kids/friends as they grow up. Then again, I was an army brat and between 1st and 12th grade went to 9 different schools - 4 different schools (in diff countries) between 9-12 grade and it didn't hurt me any. But still I was in school and with other kids my age. Living on a boat would make that very difficult I would think unless, of course the boat stayed in one place for extended periods.

Sounds like a great opportunity though and I hope it works out.

 

[Freebird]

BirdButt? Why can't you ever say anything nice about me on here JelloBreath?

You're up awful early for a guy who spends all day doing absolutely nothing you semi-retired wanna be Town Car pilot!

Now that we have exchanged proper greetings, any new member or lurker would have to be thinking, "Wow! That Freebird guy sure does have a bad attitude where that poor helpful Paula45Content guy is conerned!

Hell JB, I'll share publicly what I constantly tell you in PM's, I love you man... as in the commercial on TV when you take me out in your boat(s) and keep plying me with whatever alcohol you happen to have with my name on it!

Oops, now that I have openly admitted I'm not a big drinker (but do a fine imitation on a regular basis when I'm with folks I love to party with), I once again "ruined you for polite company."

Alright, that's enough, had it... dang, where have I heard that before! Sorry Doug, sometimes being "banished" does a body good, except for when it happens at home in the real world. For those less informed than I as to the relationship I have developed with JB (you newbies need to check out the Elliot Island get together thread), this ole' boy is one of several long lost brothers who has as close to my idea of the ultimate family relationship I could ever dreamed of, except he doesn't liveaboard with his family. I'll stop there because I know he is worried over the fact that his wife and dog really like me a lot. Seems like I have evoked those emotions from several members wives/dogs/kids of this forum. I'll give you a hint Carl doesn't have a dog and I don't speak Spanish, and I've never been to Chris and Joy's house to meet their dog, yet!

Okay, I just took myself off-topic in my own thread. Seems like that got me my "banished" title for a week or two so let's get back on course. For the record, Michelle has always enjoyed boating ever since I introduced it to her. That, as did many things, became an area of ambiguity for me during our recent marital problems. I have always shared my dream with her of living on a boat in the sunny side of the world only because it is more conducive to that lifestyle. The only thing she said was she was afraid she may come home someday only to find her home wasn't there. That was the case a couple of days before we were married as she came to our marina to find (unknown to her at that time) I had taken the boat to a nearby marina to decorate it for our upcoming wedding. I questioned if her apparent love for boating was just another in a long list of things she had apparently faked (yep, but not what you think, but also not what you think otherwise ) for the past 16+ years of our relationship. Once she FINALLY began to offer me ANY hope of reconcilitation, she asked "why would you question my love for boating?". Duh, I can't imagine why????

Both of us finding enjoyable work while living aboard is a given. We are not rich people, and although we could most certainly liquidate assets to the extent of owning outright a very nice later model (90's ) big Hatt with a little left over, we both would still need and/or want to work, but at something less stressful and more enjoyable than what we both do now. I would love to find something boat related to do for a living be it sales, brokerage, chartering... anything like that. Some have told me the best way to ruin a passion is to do it for a living. I suppose gynecologists run across the same problem in that respect, but some things you just never get tired of.

As for the smaller living spaces than she and Ryan are accustomed to (notice I left myself out of that scenario!), I had always viewed any home we've lived in (except for our beloved lake home) as just a place to sleep when we were finished being outdoors and going places and doing things. That would not change if we lived on a boat. I have always felt that way about houses even when I was single. Keeping Ryan entertained and physically fit would not be an issue when there was a beach and/or a park nearby.

There would still me a mutal need to go on vacation from our vacation, and I don't just mean moving the boat to the other side of whatever island we lived on at the time. We (maybe I) always wanted to vacation on or near water when we took time off, but who knows how either of us would feel about that after living on a boat?

Most importantly, we would have to find a place where Ryan's real world education would not be compromised. I may be a dreamer but I am realistic in that regard. As I have mentioned, I built a nursery for Ryan and took him to work with me every day until the health thing took over, but I now realize he needs to be around others just as I do, just as we all do. Health care would also be a concern which would have to be addressed.

Now then, another long post for the babbling, blubbering, beak boy. I still plan to test the limits of content on this section of posting thoughts, but I have to wonder why members are allowed to "talk too much" in this manner but not on PM's. I have never run out of space to say what I wanted/needed to in public, but it has happened on PM's on several occasions primarily because I use the quote button and keep what the other end has typed. I know the signature section is limited as well. Questions for another info thead? Maybe, but I figured anyone interested in such things as that would probably read this long thread and wonder the same things, even if for different reasons.

I'm done until next time. Somebody else talk for a change, PLEASE?

 

[Freebird]

...Grand Cayman or some other English speaking, God fearing, drug and crimefree island in the Caribbean

Good one Randy! I'd narrow it down a bit more and be sure the particular choice was also the home of the tooth fairy and free diesel!

All seriousness aside...Oops, sorry... I meant to say, seriously now..



Sounds like a great opportunity though and I hope it works out.

Thanks for the info Mike! Mexico may well just be the answer if I can persuade their government to do the same for a Hattload of redneck Americans as the U.S. has done for their citizens in the same "boat" for many years and still counting!

I appreciate you taking the time to respond, and as the case most of the time, members do it while I am busy typing to a previous member response. I think I addressed most of the valid points you made, so I won't do it again.

Thanks for the tip of looking for a nice place with free diesel. I plum forgot about that! We ain't got no teeth!

 

[Capt.Erich]

Randy,

I have been boating for most if my adult life and have been a live aboard, part-time cruiser, delivery Captain, boat bum, and many other not so impressive titles. I have many friends who are full-time cruisers (both power and sail) who will winter in the tropical lats and head to higher lats in the summer to avoid hurricanes and tropical storms. It can be a wonderful way to raise kids as they will be a part of your "crew" and should have some responsibilities that a crewmember would typically have. Most cruising families I know home school their kids and they are typically far ahead of their public school peers and have worldly experiences that most kids can't even relate too.

It boils down to this. If your wife is into it... give it a try. Maybe try it for a few months and see how it works. But set a time when the two of you will decide if it is working. As for the economic issue… only you can answer that. Can you sustain this adventure with your current business or will you have to take a break in the cruise to make some money? Many of my cruising friends have sources of “passive income” from rental properties, investments, or other means.

A good buddy of mine gave me a great piece of advice before I made a life altering decision. “If you think you’re going to land on you’re @$$ anyway… why not do it from the high dive? At least you’ll make a big splash.”

BTW: My life altering decision was to marry my wife. We have made a big splash together and have had a great time doing it.

 

[Pascal]

i dont quite get the cabin fever concer, at least not on a 53 and up hatt. unless maybe you live aboard up north.

down south or in the islands, you have a ton of space to get your privacy, space, etc... aft deck, flybridge, foredeck, saloon.... what cabin fever ??

as a live aboard, the aft deck is the best spot on the boat, i've said that many time... the flybridge is huge as well and can also be upgraded with a wet bar, grill, and table so that you get the best possible view for casual meals...

as to the kids, it all depends on where you are and i woudl say that, besides the boat, location location location is the other critical thing. for instance, a few years back i kept the boat for a few months at Plantation Yacht Harbor in islamorada and it was the best kid friendly place in the world as most slips are on a bulkhead with a huge park right across the stern. bike trails, beach, pool, ... you name it. this is the ideal place to raise kids !

even if you dont' find such an ideal place, as long as you can take the boat out to a fun place on week end, that works too. my kids have biscayne bay, a state park and a national park as their backyard, no bad...

what place you pick depends on many factors but unless your wife is gungho about livingaboard, adding a foreign place, long travel back home, etc... may be a little too much... but only you can tell.

 

[thoward]

We have been looking at this prospect but only after we kick out the kid. Our plan is to buy a small condo and liveaboard. The 60C is more than plenty but I am sure we will have guests flying in so too much is better than not enough. It would be eaiser with a small one than with a teenager. Why not try it on the 41'er? You get to keep the jobs and you will see if you both can stand to live like that.

 

[Passages]

Living aboard has many great aspects to it as you have rightly described above. One that hasn't been touched on in the community comradarie and family bonding for liveaboards that land dwellers are hard pressed to find.

I lived on board a 36' flybridge cruiser for a year and a half back in '84-85. I can honestly say it was one of the happiest times of my life. I met my to-be wife during that period and made many friend that I keep in touch with to this day.

That said, living aboard is not an escape from other issues. I think it would be great if the Missus would agree to take a leave of absence for a year and go cruising, but only if she is 100% "on-board" with the idea.

Some good friends just came back from a year living on board on a 37' Tarton sailboat. No kids, anchored out alot, cruised near home (New England) for the first few months then went south to the Carib for the winter. They loved it. What was interesting is they said their living expenses were not high at all. They anchored exclusively, only dined out for special occasions and returned after a year only out of pocket $10,000.

You can do the same only more comfortably on a 58' Hatteras. You'll need to modify it with a few long range options (Solar powered battery charger & watermaker for starters) but if it makes sense, go for it.

 

[Freebird]

A good buddy of mine gave me a great piece of advice before I made a life altering decision. “If you think you’re going to land on you’re @$$ anyway… why not do it from the high dive? At least you’ll make a big splash.”

BTW: My life altering decision was to marry my wife. We have made a big splash together and have had a great time doing it.

ROFLOL!!!!!

Erich ole' buddy, I am going to HAVE TO make a copy of your buddy's piece of advice as it would seem he and I share the same outlook on diving into life's pool. The only thing I would add is to make sure you put into practice how he and I feel by diving only in the deep end of that pool!

My marriage too was my first decision which would become life altering. Starting my own business was certainly life altering but only because it put me in a higher tax bracket. It has been one heck of a Sea Ray-like ride in a category 9 here lately even though we or at least I have been in a Hatteras for the worst part of this particular storm.

My second and best life altering situation came with the birth of my son. Nothing ambiguous about that event as being the most positive thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I distinctly remember telling Michelle I finally would have proof that I was indeed ever on this planet and truly had something worthwhile to show for it.

My third life altering decision was brought on by a life altering illness which made me re-evaluate everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, in my life and make me realize the plain and simple fact that I do not have the luxury at chasing my dreams at the time most people can in fact do that. Most couples our age are watching or have already watched their kids graduate from HS and head to college or beyond. Mine has not started kindergarten yet!

I went from hearing "You are the best Daddy I have ever seen" to "Your are the most irresponsible @#$%^&* blah, blah, blah and I do not trust you with Ryan". That followed by "I'm filing for divorce this week, and nothing you can do or say will change that", "I don't love you", "The last time I innitiated ....... was just a test to see if I felt any connection to you, and I felt absolutely nothing". All this happened over a span of five friggin' months except for the 1 1/2 years it took to apparently loose my title as the best Daddy because Daddy got sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom line is I've worked my tail off and made something of myself, Michelle did the same. I got sick, she didn't, but she got sick of my being sick and treated me like a misbehaving two year old despite her love for me and her unfortunately forgotton (literally) on my part the many sacrifices she made to get me through this tough period in our life. Her income rose while mine fell due to said illness. I got over the illness, but did I? Did Michelle? Will I or Michelle ever really get over this illness that nobody can really identify with absolute certainty?

Yeah, I spent a lot of money because I had it to spend as the result of selling my personal escape which I sold only because of my illness. After about 15 years of "settling" in addition to my illness, I found myself awakening to a new and improved me after stopping those damn drugs and seeing life in a way I had never seen it before. Michelle has told me on more than one occasion, she literally thought I was going to die as a result of my illness. Sure it was tough watching someone she loves go through that, but try to imagine what it was like to live that particular nightmare which is likely to come back. Then and only then talk to me about tough!!!!!

On top of all that, I borrowed and spent even more money (most all on tangible items with equity) to make up for lost time and bought myself another escape mechanism, make that two, no three escape mechanisms in about three months as they just happened to present themselves in short order, one being better than the last. Now I am down to two and want to and will drop to one if and when the marriage thing settles for the better. I've just decided to take control over my "destiny" and still want to make my family part of it.

Sorry for the repeat of the OprahBird show! Now, somebody tell me why the heck I am trying to keep this thing together let alone thinking I can do it on a friggin' boat! Better yet, tell me how to do it, or tell me how you did it or know people who have. That was the purpose of this thread, and so far, so good on the responses.

You've got it, I am a hopeless romantic who thinks he can change the world for the better and be able to enjoy the fruits of his labor with the family he waited so long to have to replace one he really never had in the first place.

Somebody give me some more hope and suggestions on the topic at hand, else I'm gonna make good on the earlier threat to put a Bayliner to my head! Either than or I'll trade my Hatts for one and send Michelle out into that rough sea alone!

 

[Mike53C]

My view now that my sons have their own lives is obviously different than when they went to school, so I will try to go back in time and make the effort to remmember how it was back then.
I understand "live aboard" meaning that instead of having a land lot with a house on it, I have a marina berth with a boat tied to it. This means that I still have a car, to do my errands to a shopping place, or visit a friend or go to the movies. Or spend a weekend in the mountains. The difference being that if I want to go some other place either for a vacation or to change air, I take my "house" and move, furniture and all. These means that my "normal" land chores, call it school, job if it is the case, doctor availability, etc,..remain the same as in my land attached house.
I think this can work alright, on the basis that everybody likes it, and you don't change berths every week.

If we are talking of getting into the boat and spend our lives on it, (like we do if landbased with our homes), at sea , island hopping, with nothing permanent...then Randy, I don't know.
You'll have friends, but not permanent friends, you'll be saying farewell a lot, school will be a problem, and I mean school, not necessarily education, social life for your son will be limited, and when he reaches the age of parties, friends, GIRLfriends you may have a real situation in your hands.

So, what I think is...if you want to go ahead and everybody says let's give it a try, you as Capitan will have the responsability of mantaining a delicate enough balance between tied boat (home, base, solid ground...) and boat at sea (vacation, adventure, new horizons, etc,..) so all your crew feels ok with it..

Miguel

 

[Freebird]

Living aboard has many great aspects to it as you have rightly described above. One that hasn't been touched on in the community comradarie and family bonding for liveaboards that land dwellers are hard pressed to find.

BINGO Jim ole' buddy! I too have found the "community comradarie" almost overwhelming as a result of this forum along with spending time in person with members who either liveaboard or spend significant time in their marinas. Spending time on my Hatts has only reinforced this fact that boat people are very helpful and truly care about each other. You will never live in a subdivision that offers such openess and willingness to help a friend in need while knowing they can expect the same in return when the need arises.

I've said it before and will again, boat people are different, and most marinas are just happy little very close knit communities full of folks who are enjoying life on their boats. I have been on everything from multi-million dollar yachts to $70K sailboats which were home to those who share my passion. I was not treated any differently or did I myself treat anyone differently based on the value of their boats. As with members of this forum, it is the value of the kindred spirit relationship I enjoy, not their net worth or the fact their boat is newer, older, larger, smaller... broken or not, Hatteras or not.

The home schooling idea is one I have toyed around with as well. Hell, I only have a two year college degree and took absolutely nothing in college but the basics because I had no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up and I still apparently don't. I had every intention of going on to a four year college and perhaps beyond, but Somebody obviously had different plans for me.

Life itself and its experiences are the best education, and a good and happy life will yield a better education. Most people further their educations to ensure financial success. Let me put it this way, I know several unhappy millionaires. I trust you get my point, but it took me all this time to reach the conclusions I have come to reach about money and happiness.

I want my son to be happy from within as opposed to trying to achieve it through financial success. Been there, done that. IT DOES NOT WORK!!! He will obviously have to learn to support himself along with a family of his own some day, but for every happy financially sound couple I know, I can show you ten living in a low income category who are much happier than the middle or upper class folks are. It's all a matter of the value system instilled in a child. As I've said, I truly do not know where the hell mine came from short of my grandparents on my mother's side of my extremely Jerry Springer-like dysfunctional family.

I have to stop now, my fingers are tired and my eyes are crossed. So are my fingers as I sure to hope I can figure all this stuff out while I still have time to do so.

Thanks to all who took the time to share. As always, I sincerely appreciate it!

 

[Mike53C]

Boy I take so long to write an articulate note, that by the time I post it twenty others have said the same to you....sorry Randy.
I would like to add thou that one thing is to live aboard for let's say one year, and the other "forever".
Ok here I go, for sure a hundred well intentioned souls will have posted by now.
Miguel

 

[Freebird]

Boy I take so long to write an articulate note, that by the time I post it twenty others have said the same to you....sorry Randy.
I would like to add thou that one thing is to live aboard for let's say one year, and the other "forever".
Ok here I go, for sure a hundred well intentioned souls will have posted by now.
Miguel

LOL, good luck on getting something worked into a conversation with me!

I do appreciate your efforts, and I do remember telling you I would address some of the points you made in an earlier post. I'll work on that in a minute, but I figured I'd better stop and take a deep breath for a minute and recognize you and your efforts to help me out.

BTW is it Miguel or Mike, or does that depend on where you are when you introduce yourself? A bit of unsolicited advice, I would suggest to anyone who is not a lilly white American born whatever to use your given names rather than trying to fit in with a bunch of misfits.

Carlos Guzman, my friend, makes you no less American than Carl Guzman, and I'm glad you did not go to the extreme another member of your family did to disguise their heritage. Be proud of it and help us learn about things like that. We have enough Mikes, Carls, and Joes to go around already!

Hope that wasn't viewed as a "Randy Rant", it's just a little piece of my mind to hopefully help myself and others have a little peace in their minds as well.

 

[dwaynec]

Ok, I will add a note from my experience. This may be somewhat disjointed as it may contain some elements from other topics you have started.

Therefore I will start with the fact that I am one of the lurkers that seldom contribute to the topics of discussion on this site, or any other for that matter. My reason is that I don't often feel that I have anything of value to contribute. I guess I must think that I have on this topic, so here are my thoughts.

Living aboard is very do-able. My wife and I have lived aboard our boat since Aug. 2001 when we bought our current boat, a 48 Hatt Yachtfish. We even do so in a climate that is somewhat less kind and gentle than yours down there in TN. The water in the harbor is still rather solid except for around the boats. We have even been able to do so since I retired in 2004. However, you both have to be committed to doing so. I think that might be a little tough for you right at the moment, especially since you also have Ryan to think about. It would probably be even tougher with your dream of cutting the dock lines and heading to the great unknown where everything will be unfamilier. It might be better to get Freebird back to TN and try it on her. That way you and yours will be familiar with the boat in a familiar environment.

As an aside, I have found that restoration, maintenance and other projects are much more difficult when you are living aboard than they would be if there was another home base. Trust me, it will not go over well to have the salon torn up so that you can work on your stupid engines. It is also tough when you have to pull the boat for work that requires that it be on land vs in the water. When the boat is on land, it is very difficult if not impossible to live on it. When our boat was repainted below the rubrail two years ago, she was out for five weeks. A long time to be in a motel! Other projects like restoring/maintaining the wood in the boat are just as difficult since it requires that your limited living space be in disarray for longer than a day. Maybe you should keep the Nancy Cay as an alternate dwelling when Freebird is in the process of being preened.

As you may have surmised, our kids have long since flown the coop. This makes it much easier as when we are able to cruise, we don't have to worry about being back for the school soccer/softball/basketball tournament. These sorts of things are very important to the young ones, and it is very hard on them if they are unable to participate. As far as the education, defined as book learning, is concerned, you and Michelle should be very capable in accomplishing that task. In fact, you very well might be even better at that than the schools. I base this on the fact that you both are successful in your careers, and therefore must be able to accomplish a task that you feel you must. However, mixing with other children (friends) is also very important to the youngsters. To accomplish that you will have to have a home base where they can acquire the friendships they need.

Lastly, my thoughts and your current familial situation. I promise to quit after this.

Do not give up on getting back together with Michelle. If she was capable of seeing you through your tough times, it means that she does still care. It may very well be that she is just exhausted having gone through the experience. Nurture her and I feel that the love will return. In the same vein, and possibly more importantly, DO NOT DESERT YOUR SON!!! As has been stated in another thread, you will regret doing so until you die. Trust me, I know.

Now I will quit.
Dwayne

 

[Mike53C]

BTW is it Miguel or Mike, or does that depend on where you are when you introduce yourself? .

When I registred it seemed easier to do so as Mike53C as oposed to Miguel53C. After that and when I felt confortable enough to post in the forum someone would address me as Mike. Then in my answers I signed Miguel so from here the confusion.
My name is really Miguel Angel, like Michelangelo, and after him by the way.

Miguel

 

[Freebird]

Dwayne, please don't quit posting, not because of me!

You are obviously one of the been there, done that guys we all need input from on various topics as they relate to the Hatteas experience. There simply is on susbstitute for experience in any aspect of life. Your opinions based on that experience cannot be view as right or wrong, just yours. I appriciate your effort to express your opinions and appreciate the PMs as well.

I'll address one thing which was unique in your post. I have no plan whatsoever to liveaboard my 58 or any other boat which is not the epitome of turn key. In the event we do come to the conclusion we will try a liveaboard on the 58, I will fix every mechanical issue prior to spending the first night aboard. In turn I would have Michelle dictate how she would like to have the interior restored. She is extrmeley gifted in areas of interior decoration and her tastes mirror mine. She freely admitted a couple of nights ago she had in fact looked forward to fixing up the 58 as we have done together on other boats. Our 41 needs absolutely nothing in that respect, so maybe the suggestion we do a trial run on it is a good one. I bought the 58 just to give us two seperate living areas and allow Ryan a stateroom of his own. I did not buy it with liveaboard in mind, but it's always been in the back of my mind until now.

We made two trips on the 41 last year which we all enjoyed very, very much. We spent every night on the boat (I know, it was a little over a week at one time), but we got out and enjoyed other things on land to give our vacation a little more variety especially for Ryan where he absolutely loved The Aquarium in Chattanooga as did Michelle and I. There were parks we took him to along the way as well.

As always, and I know I keep repeating this sentiment, but acknowledging contributions such as yours bares repeating.

Thanks again, and again, and again, and...........

 

[eclipsarkanna]

Birdman:

I am late to the game in your new thread and will limit my comments to the place you choose to make your new floating home. I suspect that any wife will make part of her decision on where you plan to spend your life aboard. If it is in the BVI or some of the other great Islands (I have heard that Turks & Caicos is a great spot for cruisers and live-aboards), I am betting your wife will be far more receptive to the idea. If it is in the Mediterranean, she is already packed and ready to go with you. You have the perfect aged son for what you want to do - he is pre-school and you can do home schooling for a few years before he needs the 'socialization' of other kids and the so-called proper teaching methods that non-parents can bring. I would say up to age 7 home schooling is fine and the two of you get to really spend a huge amount of time with Ryan. I would say that your 58TC is large enough (what do I know - I haven't yet lived aboard!) and you both have the "dream" with the TC as part of that dream (as I recall from your earlier posts).

As a guy who got the "boot" after 32 years of what I thought was a great marriage, I think your idea is great if you can get Michelle to the party - and if I were you, I would ask her where she would most like to be (the Carib? Southern Fl; the Med; etc.).

Probably most important - if you or Michelle want to work (either for financial reasons or to preserve your sanity and keep busy) make sure you look at work permit rules in each jurisdiction. For example, it is totally impossible to cruise into Bermuda and work. Turks on the other hand is far easier to do that.

Lastly, search your proposed jurisdiction to find out how long you can stay. If you cruise into Bermuda, you will be told to take a hike after 3 months. If you get really lucky and manage to pull a lot of strings, you can stretch your stay to a maximum of 6 months and then they will cut your anchor ropes and set you adrift (or hold their hand out for 33 1/3% of the value of your TC - and I can tell you it is Bermuda's value which is pie in the sky). Turks on the other hand as I understand it, doesn't have their hand out and they are happy to let you anchor for as long as you want.

Just some thoughts for you to throw into your hopper as you fluff your feathers with a great idea. Go for it I say.

Bill

 

[thoward]

For the liveaboard idea you really have to give up most of your "stuff". There is only so much room on a boat and if you are crusing you cant very well have nicknacks everywhere when the seas get rough. We have a guy in our marina who moved in to a boat full time. He has so much stuff he can not take it out in the ocean. Over the past few years we got to the point where the boat has everything we could need. To the point where we could drive down with the clothes on our backs and leave for an extended period time. If we were to sell the house we would have to store everything or get rid of it. There are things my wife and I are not ready to give up so we would need to maintain a land based home. That is where the condo comes in. Cheaper than a house, no yard, no exterior work, just a fancy storage unit with carpet.

If your jobs allow, a yearly 2 month cruise could be just what the Dr. ordered. Otherwise move South to and make shorter more frequent runs. I say you need to bring this Michelle chick down and let her get a taste of the lifestyle. Then Ginger will have someone else to drag off shopping...... Duck incoming .....

 

[Freebird]

Okay, I really am going to try to keep from addressing each and everyones quotes. I don't know why, but that seems to bother some folks and I don't want to be a bother.

Todd, if I do the liveaboard I plan to sell everything that is not necessary to do the liveaboard thing, and I do mean everything. I have way too many toys and a whole bunch of crap I do not need, period. It took a while, and I have made the comment to Michelle where Ryan is concerned, too many toys are counterproductive to why we have them in the first place, simple entertainment.

Bill, I appreciate hearing from a legal professional who has been there, done that. You have been yet another unexpected blessing to aid me in my situation. People like you are among the first of several reasons I came out of retirement.

I am in the tadpole stage of building this particular frog. There are many considerations which you have done an excellent job at pointing out for me as to employment scenarios, financial concerns, liveaboard permissablity and the like. The money as no object scenario I have to comment on. I posed the question to Michelle as to where we could be in our marriage if we had a million dollars in the bank.

Truth is, IMHO it would not matter, unless of course her primary problem with our marriage difficulties is money related. Then yes, Houston, we have a problem as someone wasn't serious as to their wedding vows. I think I've made it pretty clear how I feel about the sickness part.

I did pose the question as to how it would effect her decision to persue a liveaboard scenario if money were no object. I'm a little dense sometimes you know, but this question, as is the case with most questions I ask these days, was apparently not worthy of a reply. "No matter what I say you are just going to twist it around to make me look bad", seems to be the standard answer to most of my questions. How the hell can we ever get anywhere with that attitude.

Sorry Michelle, I'm not an innocent bystander in all our problems, but I certainly do want to know how you feel, and I expect nothing more for you to feel the same way two days in a row. Oh yeah, it really "torces" her panties that I talk to total strangers on the internet about our personal problems. I don't feel I need to comment on that statement.

As many have suggested, now is the time to give this dream a little reality check while Ryan is pre-school age. I have no doubt whatsoever that such an experience would be far more beneficial than watching Bob the Builder. Hey Michelle "Can we fix it...YES WE CAN!!!" But not if we keep failing to address the problems which lead to our current situation. If she isn't willing to try, then it's time for me to find someone who is.

There, I said it, and I plan to sit her down in front of this computer and make her read everything that I and every one of you have said on this subject. It's way passed time to put it all on the table. What we did for the first 15 years of marriage did not work other than to give us a son. Repeating the same story will result in the same ending. That is an indisputable fact my friends.