Morning funny

[SEVEN]

Here you go

[sgharford]

I tried that once, it didn't work. I think if I hadn't already been drinking so heavily prior it may have had a chance.

[krush]

please stop making new threads for each joke. Put them all in one thread.

And you posted a thumbnail that is too small the read LOL.

[racclarkson@gmail.com]

And besides, everyone on this forum has an enlarged prostate anyway.

[SEVEN]

please stop making new threads for each joke. Put them all in one thread.

And you posted a thumbnail that is too small the read LOL.

Will do. And not sure how to enlarge it.

[SEVEN]

And besides, everyone on this forum has an enlarged prostate anyway.

I knew someone who mention it. LOL 😂

[Nonchalant1]

Tried this when boating on the Amazon once.... had a problem with piranhas.

[Bob Bradley]

Tried this when boating on the Amazon once.... had a problem with piranhas.

It's safer up on the Hudson. Nothing but suckers there.

[racclarkson@gmail.com]

Tried this when boating on the Amazon once.... had a problem with piranhas.Yeah and it was deep too, wasn't it.

[SEVEN]

The way I feel.

[SEVEN]

To funny

[SEVEN]

How true

[SEVEN]

How true is this. LOL

[RonNP]

True dat!

[racclarkson@gmail.com]

They are truly awful. There’s always some glitch checking out—slowest computer ever. Had to get something from them this morning. They rang up two instead of three items I ordered. I did the right thing. You’d think they’d have enough class to thank me for correcting their error. I hate going to West Marine.

[SEVEN]

Sorry for your loss

[SEVEN]

Look familiar

[SEVEN]

It’s that time of year.

[SEVEN]

Looks just like my grandkids

[SEVEN]

So true.

[SEVEN]

Too Funny

[SEVEN]

So true but worth it.

[SEVEN]

Reminds me of some young friends of mine.

[SEVEN]

City Boating

[SEVEN]

I can only imagine someone doing this.

[SEVEN]

Another Funny

[SEVEN]

Oh so true

[SEVEN]

My knees are killing me. Lol

[Frivakt]

Good to know there are living persons here. Greetings from Norway. :)

[SEVEN]

Living, breathing and boating. Hello from California.

[Bob Bradley]

You left out drinking. Greetings from Connecticut. I spent a week cruising the fjords last spring. Gorgeous place - I could live there happily.

[SEVEN]

Anyone need a baby sitter?

[SEVEN]

Oooooooch!

[SEVEN]

Very good advice

[SEVEN]

Remember?

[SEVEN]

I feel his pain

[SEVEN]

California/Florida here he comes

[SEVEN]

Never ever do this. Lol

[SEVEN]

What’s this country coming to

[SEVEN]

It’s cold out there.

[SEVEN]

It’s Grandpa as well.

[SEVEN]

Man does this ring true.

[SEVEN]

Welcome to old age.

[SEVEN]

I wish I could find a friend like that, my boat would perfect.

[SEVEN]

Not big enough.

[SEVEN]

And the count down begins.

[SEVEN]

Someone is going to sue. Lol

[SEVEN]

Great Christmas pictures

[SEVEN]

Number 2

[SEVEN]

Number 3

[SEVEN]

Final one Merry Christmas

[SEVEN]

Making it happen.

[SEVEN]

Too Funny

[SEVEN]

Follow up on the last post

[SEVEN]

Say What!

[TROUBLE]

POSTED THIS BEFORE BUT ITS FUNNY EVERY TIME

Thought you guys and gals would like this.
HIS AND HER DIARY FOR THE SAME DAY:

HER DIARY:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


HIS DIARY:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure out why.

[SEVEN]

Now that is good.

[SEVEN]

Fell off the sofa when I saw this. Lol

[SEVEN]

If I had a septic tank, this would be the guy.

[SEVEN]

It’s always like this.

[SEVEN]

Only on the West Coast

[SEVEN]

Love it.

[SEVEN]

Show this to the Admiral, she will love it.

[SEVEN]

You have to love the Shark Tank.

[SEVEN]

After a heavy night of drinking.

[SEVEN]

The way they think.

[SEVEN]

Sounds like my weekend

[SEVEN]

My weekend

[SEVEN]

What do you mean you’re pregnant

[SEVEN]

Can I get an amen

[SEVEN]

I’m still a liar.

[bobk]

I’m still a liar.
We used to say if you haven't been aground, you haven't been around.

Bobk

[SEVEN]

We used to say if you haven't been aground, you haven't been around.

Bobk

That’s even better.

[SEVEN]

Isn’t this the truth

[SEVEN]

This is me all over.

[JohnEasley]

This is me all over.

Sounds familiar.:(

[SEVEN]

Ah the memories

[SEVEN]

Loved both of these.

[SEVEN]

Oh Grandma.

[SEVEN]

Really?

[SEVEN]

April is just around the corner. Start thinking guys.

[SEVEN]

Seems ok to me. What do you think?

[SEVEN]

I’m ready

[SEVEN]

Whose going to the first to try?

[SEVEN]

I love ❤️ Bacon

[SEVEN]

A face only a mother can love

[RonNP]

I love ❤️ Bacon

I've always loved a beautiful woman who can cook crispy bacon in the morning. Too true that they are both the slow death of all of us!

[Walter P]

If she wants to cook the bacon dressed like that every morning, who cares what the bacon will do to you......At least you will die with a hugh smile

Walt

[SEVEN]

It’s a Hatteras Damit!

[SEVEN]

The only way to live

[SEVEN]

I’ve always said we are not getting out of this alive. Live it to the fullest.

[SEVEN]

I need some more sleep

[SEVEN]

They all want to hear it.

[SEVEN]

I looked this up and it’s true there is a town in Mass named Sandwich.

[SEVEN]

Slow down buddy

[SEVEN]

Had to Post this for all my east coast buddies

[SEVEN]

Valentines Day is just around the corner.

[SEVEN]

This is for my East Coast Buddies.

[34Hatt]

They all want to hear it.


Showed this to the wife and she said yup that what you would say ;)

[SEVEN]

They know us so well. Thanks for looking at these jokes.

[Walter P]

Jokes? I thought they were all true stories.......

Walt

[SEVEN]

Stay away from my desert.

[SEVEN]

Jokes? I thought they were all true stories.......

Walt

Well at least one is a joke.

[UNIQUE_NAME]

Stay away from my desert.



where did you find my baby picture?

[SEVEN]

where did you find my baby picture?

At the bakery. Lol

[rsmith]

Nov 15 1982 30 days in Palm Beach co and 3rd degree felony. I hate Manatees

[thatsit58hatt]

I heard they don't want to take the Manatees off the endangered list because, and I quote from the TV News down here in SW Fla "there are too many to get an accurate count".
What an absurd thing to say!!! If there are too many to count they shouldn't be on the list, moron.

[SEVEN]

Nov 15 1982 30 days in Palm Beach co and 3rd degree felony. I hate Manatees

I’m so glad to see someone else add to this post. Keep them coming.

[thatsit58hatt]

Here's one.

[SKYCHENEY]

I love Manatees. They taste just like chicken!

[jrbrein]

Nov 15 1982 30 days in Palm Beach co and 3rd degree felony. I hate Manatees

What happened to you Mr. Smith? Did you kidnap some poor Manatee?


Jon

[SEVEN]

Don’t worry be Happy

[SEVEN]

Money Money Money

[SEVEN]

Love these two guys.

[SEVEN]

Took the words out of my mouth.

[SEVEN]

I was.

[rustybucket]

I was.

Occasionally the wooden spoon met the top of my head too.... new level of attention getting there!!

[racclarkson@gmail.com]

Occasionally the wooden spoon met the top of my head too.... new level of attention getting there!!Rectal cranial inversion?

[Jammin']

My contribution.

[Bob Bradley]

Rectal cranial inversion?

Rectal Optic Syndrome: I can't see my a$$ going to work today.

[Nonchalant1]

Rectal Optic Syndrome: I can't see my a$$ going to work today.

Nah... Rectal-optic syndrome is when the nerves from your eyes get crossed with the nerves from your ass and it gives you a shi**y outlook on life.

[Walter P]

Rectal cranial inversion?

It's actually called cranial rectalitas......

Walt

[SEVEN]

Who needs salads anyway.

[SEVEN]

What did she say?

[rsmith]

What happened to you Mr. Smith? Did you kidnap some poor Manatee?


Jon

It was during the out of control cowboy law enforcement era in so Florida. Overreaction to the 70's and 80's Cuban crime wave. I had just pulled into Old Port Cove in NPB the night before. 2 of my 3 heads had died on the trip down from Cape May so my brother in law and I jumped in the 13 whaler and ran down to Spencer's in Palm beach to pick up some parts. On the way down we stopped at Sailfish center on Riviera beach to see some friends then cut around Peanut island to cut across lake worth down to Spencer's. About half way down this big blue thunder boat overtakes us. Light and sirens blaring Ninjas with M16's on the bow and pulls us over. There's a guy with one of those giant tv cameras of the day that says Action News 5 on is filming. Head cop tells me I'm the first one to be arrested in Palm Beach county for violating the new manatee laws. I said " what's a manatee?" He smirked and said "boy you gonna find out" they read me my rights slapped the cuffs on me and took me to county jail. I did make the 5 o'clock news. My 15 minutes you know. So I'm sitting in jail with bubba the gator poacher and Leroy the crack head trying to make bond. Well at that point I was a Pennsylvania resident had no property in Florida and they didn't take out of state checks. (Yeah remember those days? There were no national banks)
And that my friend is how I ended up in front of the infamous Judge Lupo who presided over the Kennedy rape trial. The penalty at the time for violating a manatee area was mandatory 1 year in jail and $7000 fine. The the DA offered me a plea bargain of time served $751fine and adjudicated the guilt.
There were so many horror story's like mine or worse (several large boats were confiscated and never returned) that the legislature stepped in and reduced the penalties.
It was a wild time back then.

[SEVEN]

Sounds like a story from the mid 30’s.

[SEVEN]

Happy Groundhog Day

[Scarlett]

Rusty you have to much free time, but I love the jokes, keep them coming. John

[SEVEN]

I don’t watch much TV at night, so while the family watches I surf the web. Always looking to make people smile. Thanks for reading.

[jrbrein]

Mr. Smith,

Sounds like they were just waiting for their first and you came along just in the nick of time.

Jon

[SEVEN]

Sunny Florida

[SEVEN]

I’m definitely buying a bigger boat now.

[SEVEN]

No ship!

[SEVEN]

Yummy

[SEVEN]

Weather right?

[SEVEN]

We all know the feeling

[SEVEN]

Now this is funny.

[SEVEN]

For you low flyers

[SEVEN]

I prefer crunchy

[SEVEN]

Real Fish Tails

[SEVEN]

So so so true!

[SEVEN]

Where do I get one of these?

[TROUBLE]

now thats funny

[SEVEN]

Cats love boating

[SEVEN]

I feel her pain

[SEVEN]

Fix or repair daily. And here I own two Lincoln’s

[SEVEN]

Talk about an all day cooker

[SEVEN]

Been there right guys?

[SEVEN]

How long will it take you. 3 seconds for me.

[SEVEN]

Who needs to work out? We own boats.

[SEVEN]

Gets you thinking

[SEVEN]

Love this story true or not.

[SEVEN]

New boating emoji’s

[SEVEN]

Dogs right?

[Boatsb]

Gets you thinking

Really

From someone in califonia?

Isn't there about 2 million kids getting free lunch there every day? Some may even be legal.

[SEVEN]

Really

From someone in califonia?

Isn't there about 2 million kids getting free lunch there every day? Some may even be legal.

This is for the whole US not just California.

[Avenger]

This is for the whole US not just California.

No free lunch here. When someone gets out of prison they get a bill for the hospitality.

[SEVEN]

Exactly the way it should be.

[SEVEN]

Spring is almost here. Cant wait.

[SEVEN]

I hated it but this was the way I was raised.

[SEVEN]

Love this guy.

[SEVEN]

Flashers be aware

[SEVEN]

Here he goes again

[rustybucket]

Here he goes again

Think this is my fav so far!! We not getting any younger and we can't take it with us!! Might as well enjoy it now!!

[SEVEN]

That’s what my wife said when we bought our 53.

[SEVEN]

Technology right?

[SEVEN]

I’ll guarantee most of the women will agree

[SEVEN]

I don’t see the issue

[SEVEN]

I’ve seen boaters that look like this. Very very happy to hit the ramp

[SEVEN]

Not political just true in my house

[SEVEN]

Not political just happens in my house

[SEVEN]

Just around the corner

[SEVEN]

Almost time!

[SEVEN]

So what’s wrong with that?

[SEVEN]

Time to OD

[SEVEN]

Who has done this?

[SEVEN]

What were they thinking??????

[SEVEN]

Perfect.

[SEVEN]

Wakie Wakie

[SEVEN]

Choices?

[SEVEN]

Now this is Funny

[SEVEN]

Old Yeller, poor pup.

[SEVEN]

I don’t blame him.

[SEVEN]

Who doesn’t like bacon?

[SEVEN]

So, so true

[Scarlett]

Rusty, I just figured out where you are going with this thread. You are trying to catch up with Q240z on number of posts. Both of you keep them coming. John

[SEVEN]

Is that the Chris Craft make over? If so it will be years. I do like to make people laugh. I intended to be a stand up comedian but like got in the way.

[Walter P]

Is that the Chris Craft make over? If so it will be years. I do like to make people laugh. I intended to be a stand up comedian but like got in the way.

Rusty, I also wanted to be a stand up comedian but everyone kept telling me to sit down....da dump..
you probably get more respect than I did or Rodney did..even as a kid I got no respect, we would play hide
and go seek and the other kids wouldn't look for me.......

Keep up the humor, it's good for the soul......

Walt

[SEVEN]

I agree and thanks. Please feel free to add cartoons that make you smile.

[SEVEN]

Oh Bruce

[SEVEN]

The old switch a ru

[SEVEN]

This guys got a big set.

[SEVEN]

The Hulk has spoken.

[SEVEN]

Great first date.

[Stripes]

Here's a sad example of the witch hunt caused by the flood of sexual abuse allegations:


A good friend of mine, after 7 years of medical school and training, has been fired for one minor indiscretion.

He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession.

What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying off his school loans.

This just goes to show you that one minor mistake can ruin your life.

Thoughts and prayers for him and his family.

He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.

[SEVEN]

Now that was funny. 😺😹🦍🐘🦏🐪🦓🐆🐅🐎🐓🐈🐩🐿🐀🐁🐇🕊

[SEVEN]

So I hired this plumber. And this is what I come home too.

[SEVEN]

I’ve seen this many times during my travels. To funny

[SEVEN]

You can’t make this crap up.

[SEVEN]

A late Christmas card

[SEVEN]

Make sure you drink plenty of water, this could happen to you.

[SEVEN]

Play on words

[Bob Bradley]

President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when an assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”

Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout “Donald duck!”

[Bob Bradley]

24566

[SEVEN]

President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when an assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”

Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout “Donald duck!”

Very good.

[SEVEN]

24566

Thanks for joining in Bob.

[SEVEN]

Star Wars humor

[SEVEN]

Now that’s cold

[SEVEN]

That’s right ladies.

[SEVEN]

Admiral Doggie Diner

[SEVEN]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[SEVEN]

Dah, so dumb!

[SEVEN]

A little help here, LOL 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

[SEVEN]

From the mouths of babes

[SEVEN]

Awh. So sweet

[SEVEN]

Show this one to the Admiral

[SEVEN]

Show her this one as well

[SEVEN]

Drunk driving?

[SEVEN]

I’m sure we all have been there.

[SEVEN]

Kids always call them as they seem them.

[SEVEN]

Hopefully you can read this. So true.

[SEVEN]

Sorry it’s to small so this is what it reads, top left to right, bottom left to right,

What Society thinks I do, What my Mom thinks I do, what my friends think I do.

What my wife thinks I do, what I think I do, what I actually do.

[SEVEN]

Another chicken joke.

[SEVEN]

Got to get the 8 hours minimum.

[SEVEN]

Look close.

[SEVEN]

Stinky kitty 🐱

[SEVEN]

So what’s the big deal, right guys?

[SEVEN]

Whose is there an issue?

[SEVEN]

Wrote a song about it.

[Avenger]

http://i65.tinypic.com/16j235w.jpg

[Jammin']

You post enough of these and you've got me chuckling one out of three, so that's twice a day! Thanks.

[SEVEN]

That’s the purpose, we all have so much crap in our lives it’s nice to smile and laugh a few times a day. Feel free to add ones you find. Thanks for reading.

[SEVEN]

The next one explain what this is about

[SEVEN]

Talk about drunk and stupid

[SEVEN]

I hope you can read this. So so true.

[SEVEN]

Look out their almost here.

[SEVEN]

I’m done with my list. Well at least till next weekend

[SEVEN]

Who thinks of these things to funny.

[SEVEN]

This one is too good. Not being political just loved the statement.

[SEVEN]

Ok who got it right?

[jrbrein]

Seven,

You are the man!!!

LMAO and can't stop.

Jon

[SEVEN]

Thanks Jon. I’m just trying to bring some fun into the world. Glad you’re enjoying them and please add when you see a good one.

[Avenger]

No such luck in the air tonight. There's already an I on the board. OTOH if it refers to Vanna maybe somebody will be very lucky.

[Bob Bradley]

No such luck in the air tonight. There's already an I on the board. OTOH if it refers to Vanna maybe somebody will be very lucky.


Party pooper.


(Or is that poop partier?)

[SEVEN]

No such luck in the air tonight. There's already an I on the board. OTOH if it refers to Vanna maybe somebody will be very lucky.

I knew someone would catch it.

[SEVEN]

Keep your eyes open she’s missing.

[SEVEN]

No such luck in the air tonight. There's already an I on the board. OTOH if it refers to Vanna maybe somebody will be very lucky.

I knew someone would catch that. Congratulations 🍾🎈🎉🎊

[SEVEN]

Love it.

[SEVEN]

The new Charlie.

[SEVEN]

How scary is that?