Perfect Verbiage for Signage of Marine Toilet Use?

Angela's recent incident in the thread "Miami Boat Show Raft Up Party" inspired me to actually post this one now as I have been meaning to for some time. We have all had to clear the tampon or big wad of sh-t out our toilet pumps at one time or another. No matter what you tell your sister-in-law or best friend someone is going to ruin your day/weekend at least once a season (three times already, and only had the boat for one season).

So with that said, has anyone come up with effective verbiage that isn't too vulgar for a sign to hang in front of toilets? I would do anything to minimize chances of this happening again. I would rather get punched in the nose as that is less obtrusive then how personal I take it when someone massively clogs my toilet.

What I had hanging over my head, in a big, bold font that filled an entire 8x11 sheet of paper:

"Items deposited in this head must have previously been in your mouth.

The pump you will clean out if you clog it is in the engine room, as hot as an oven, and downhill."

This one is about the same. Saw it on a dive boat in Key West last year.

"Don't put anything in the head unless you have eaten it first."

Blaine

TOILET PAPER ONLY, PLEASE. They get the message after reading that.

I've got nice color photos from the "dig out" of the first time this happened. I'm thinking posting a flyer in the head with Genesis's words, and my photos, all in one. They say a picture can be worth a thousand words. I can hear it now, "Oh that's disgusting..." YES, IT IS!

"To all landlubbers.....there are no plumbers at sea!!!"

Ang - think you are on to something. A nice nautical frame with a picture of one's fingers in there digging it out with one of these wise proverbs underneath - one hung right over the kamode, the other facing you when you are sitting on it just to be sure. Seriously - could hang them up when you know you got potential trouble coming on board.

Like this one? Here's a nice bowl of "mouse." And then you put it in a baggie and mail it back to the offender. :D

I've had many people comment on my "Don't put anything into the head unless you have eaten first" placard. It's somewhat effective.

Yea, I know it will happen eventually, but my wife and daughter are both programmed to give the "speech" anytime someone new comes aboard. This is backed up by me, asking new guests if they have had "the speech". If not, I refer them to the females, if so, we all have a laugh. So far we have yet to have a problem. Maybe it's the water-boarding part of the speech...I don't know....

"There is no modesty in a marine bathroom"... ws

Where did you get that sign?! I MUST have one...well actually three. :P

Bill - that is an awesome sign. You must have had it made at a trophy shop - see it personally signed by the man himself.

Thought of another possibility why tampons wind up in toilet and not trash – my trash cans doesn’t have lids. Think I’ll buy a couple with revolving lid so there is no embarrassment for lack of a better word in having it sit in the open.

You guys are making this way too complicated where strangers are concerned. Go the boat show route by turning off the breakers and taping down the lids along with an "out of order" note. Your guests will ask you what to do next and you can give them directions to the restroom in the marina. "Gee, that damn part was supposed to be delivered yesterday... sorry". :D

If you're away from the marina, follow the same steps after which you can simply tell them the procedure for using the head as well all know very few people read signs.

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Originally Posted by stormchaser

Where did you get that sign?! I MUST have one...well actually three. :P

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If there is any interest in this, I've got a friend with a sign shop that does custom work for me. I could have a run of something made up with vinyl over aluminum or polystyrene sign board.

PM me with any interest, and I'll see what it will cost.

They are at most marine stores like West Marine, or on the internet. I've seen them for less than $5.00. Don't spend the money making anything special order. I'll search the links I had and post them.

Found this site for signage
http://www.bereng.com/fptext.htm

FWIW, in the unfortunate event when a guest does violate "ship's policy", a pair of extended long nose pliers can generally easily remove the offending matter. Your guest will appreciate your having this (and rubber gloves) on board.

(Hope the image works)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by (Nobody You Know)

FWIW, in the unfortunate event when a guest does violate "ship's policy", a pair of extended long nose pliers can generally easily remove the offending matter. Your guest will appreciate your having this (and rubber gloves) on board.

(Hope the image works)

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What, and ruin my good fishing pliers?

Extra long needle nose pliers are available from Harbor Freight for cheap money.
Fred

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sgharford

Bill - that is an awesome sign. You must have had it made at a trophy shop - see it personally signed by the man himself.

Thought of another possibility why tampons wind up in toilet and not trash – my trash cans doesn’t have lids. Think I’ll buy a couple with revolving lid so there is no embarrassment for lack of a better word in having it sit in the open.

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I actually had a pal (RIP) at work make that while on restricted duty. It was like a small milling machine that was CNCd off of a computer. There were probably 100 color combinations too!!! ws